Exploring the Big Titties

August 12, 2007—I headed back north from Jackson into Grand Teton, stopping at this picturesque elk preserve just north of town.

Thankfully the haze had cleared, giving me a clear view of les Tetons. (the tallest one a little to the right is THE official Grand Teton)

I took the road in toward the mountains this time, stopping at Jenny Lake for a hike. The scene was idyllic… I could have sat by the lake for hours.

I took a side loop along my hike to Moose Ponds. I could certainly imagine moose liking the spot, but sadly saw none.

I did, however, find evidence—

Sadly, the loop didn’t do at all what the map said, so I ended up back at my car instead of the various attractions on the far side of the lake. At this point my trip had been cut short by a couple days and I was in a rush to get to Denver that night, so I gave up and drove on. Out of all the spectacular stops on my trip, though, this Grand Teton is without doubt the one place I wish I could go back and spend more time at.

Heading north to get out of the park, I caught this glimpse of Cascade Canyon, apparently one of the most impressive sights in the park.

Coming east out of the park I came through Grand Teton National Forest. I rather liked this sign advertising loose stock.

Then, suddenly, I was back in New Mexico. No, no, just kidding. It wasn’t NM but it really looked like it. Could’ve fooled me and I grew up there.

Several people had told me, other than Yellowstone and Grand Teton, there’s not a THING to do in Wyoming. Don’t even bother stopping—just drive straight through it. So that’s what I did.

Luckily the rather boring drive was made a lot cooler by this spectacular sunset.

I realized there was no way I’d make Denver by any reasonable time, so I decided to cut south across the border into western Colorado. By this point it was totally dark, but by the landscape so far I figured I wasn’t missing out on much until I would hit the mountains around Grand Junction. So as I’m driving down this tiny, mostly abandoned road in the middle of nowhere, I start smelling something cooking. Then I start to see an orange glow. Then I am surprised to come over a hill and find a police pickup parked right across the middle of the road and open flames just off to the side of it.

I found out from the officer that around 5 hours earlier, a ball bearing on a big semi truck going through overheated and flew out into the extremely dry grass, creating 20-foot high flames and shutting down traffic for a good 2 hours. Luckily I missed that part and they had gotten most of the fire under control. Bored, I continued to make conversation with the officer, finding out that, no, I wasn’t missing anything by driving through the area at night. He also informed me of a couple campgrounds just down the road a bit if I got tired.

Once I was waved through the fire zone, I followed the officer’s instructions to reach a campground up in the national forest nearby. Nine miles up a dirt road, he said. There was no moon that night, though, and enough smoke to dim the stars, meaning everything was pitch black and all I could see was the road just in front of me. I think I passed 3 houses (with no lights on) along the 9 miles, so not only was it pitch black but I was the only soul for miles. I finally reached the campground, paid my fees, and found a spot. It wasn’t hard… they were all unoccupied. I parked my car and started preparing my bed in the back of the car but found it far too strange of a feeling to sit in a lighted box with pitch black windows on all sides. If there was a bear reared up on its hind legs next to my car… I wouldn’t see it. That’s a freaky feeling. I also felt like having my light on might attract whatever wild animals might be in the nearby woods, being the only light for miles and miles. So on top of it I might be attracting animals that I wouldn’t even be able to see, blinded in my own lighted box. That was by far the most scared I was on my whole trip. So I ended up setting up my bed and changing mostly by feel in the pitch black back of my car, scared shitless. When I finally laid down, though, ready to go to sleep, I saw a single shooting star in the sky above me through my back window, reassuring me somewhat that things were alright after all.